Feeling your lack.
Again.
The sudden removal of the daily contact
A fresh reminder of heartbreak
Of your ultimate dismissal of me
Wrought from your own inability to embrace what drives your soul,
Our souls.
The illusion, oh so glorious.
I slipped in. Allowed the waters to caress my skin.
Imagined. Dreamt.
Maybe…
Maybe crashed on the rocks
The distance slamming down full force
Locking away your heart as thoroughly as cell doors closing
Locking down me.
Back into solitary
I wonder.
Will I get visiting hours today?
Those wee parceled moments where I see you across the barrier
Longing to touch your hand, brush my fingers across your cheek.
Longing to take you into my arms
But like the prisoner, contact is prohibited.
Your arms protect your chest
Veiling your heart from opening to me.
Your renewed distance
So that you can again bury your desires deep inside
Locking them away where no one can hear them cry
And in so doing, sentencing me
I ache for the moments
For the heartfelt connection
To touch you, as I’ve been touched
To remind you, with my hands, what we were
To sink into the depths of your eyes and lose myself there
Only to find myself. And you. Our real selves.
My heart cries, even as tears fail to fall