“Cancer”

I had cancer
We say “had,” like it was a thing acquired
Like a dinner party hosted
A shirt, dress, car once owned

I had cancer
Where’s the return receipt?
I didn’t buy this dish.
This one size fits all, fits far too many

I had cancer
And my world was upended
Those who know, you can’t exchange it
No return to how it was before

I had cancer
Never more the simple of life seems such
Each moment, each breath, each word, laugh and glance
I had these too

I had cancer
I had the mask of immortality
Cancer ripped it away and took up roost
Unwanted houseguest

I had cancer
And so I cleaned house
Took stock in who and what, dusted and purged
Remade myself

Like a new outfit can change your look
A gathering can affect you long past its moments
The costs and pleasures of the things acquired ripple over time
I re-donned the mantle of life

I took out the cancer
And with it, the deep rotting parts of me
Those I gave back, no refund requested!
No place for them here anymore

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